From Deployments to Laundry Debates

Let’s just be honest.

I’ve been a wreck.

Retirement life is so much harder than I thought it would be, emotionally as well.

After 20 years of military life, after deployments, after 48 combined months in Afghanistan alone which adds up to four full years and when you factor in the other deployments, we’re talking close to six years of my husband being gone over the course of his career.

Six years!

I raised our kids alone in so many ways. I handled everything. The house. The schedules. The late nights. The early mornings. The quiet. The chaos. All of it.

Now he’s home.

And we love it. We really do.

He’s in the contract world now, which fits him. He thrives in it. But having him home consistently? That’s been an adjustment for all of us.

Don’t get me wrong. I love that man more than anything. He is my world. Him, my kids, my dogs, that’s it for me.

But he is wired differently.

He needs something to oversee. Something to build. Something to lead. Something that carries weight. Something that feels purposeful, maybe even a little dangerous, if we’re being honest. That’s how he’s programmed.

And me?

I’m wired differently too.

I’m Type A. ADHD in full overload, I hate being this way, but I like doing things myself. All of it. Cleaning, laundry, homework, organizing. I enjoy it. I once hired a cleaning company and cleaned before they came because I couldn’t let go. There was nothing left for them to do, and when they cleaned, I went home and moved my coffee table only to find dust, dust! I was done with that.

Most women would love their husband jumping in to help with everything.

And I do appreciate it.

But I also struggle with letting go, for years, I didn’t have a choice, I had to carry it all, granted I was only raising my kids, and not working.  And now I don’t quite know how to not carry it.

He’s getting ready to travel again. It’s on and off, which honestly works for us. I look forward to the trips. That’s where he thrives. That’s where he feels sharp, focused, and alive, at least from my point of view.

And I am beyond proud of him.

Watching him with our son, Marc, has been something special over the last month. Marc is autistic. He doesn’t love the typical “guy stuff.” It’s the small things that matter. The quiet time, the routines, the simple moments, even learning to shave, and this season has given them all of that.

That part makes the adjustment worth it.

Now let’s talk about me.

Because clearly, I don’t know how to sit still, and I may never.

As of today, I’m renewing my spin certification after ten years. I’m coming back to something that I used to love, the music, the energy, the sweat, the community, I love the connected feeling, which is why I love my city.

Classes will be at Flex Fitness here in Crestview. Six dollars a class, that’s not bad at all.  Anyone can come. You do not need to know how to spin. This will be fun, welcoming, learn-as-you-go energy. I will start by offering one class a week on Wednesdays at 6PM, I will begin with just getting everyone familiarized with the bike, then we will jump in. The atmosphere at Flex is inviting. I feel completely comfortable there. It’s a great gym with great people.

And as if that wasn’t enough…

During this entire adjustment season, I decided to get my commercial real estate license, I am currently just waiting to get the nerve to take my exam.  Apparently, I like to stay busy 24/7.

But truly, this has been on my heart for a long time. I love residential real estate, helping families, walking through first homes and forever homes. But commercial real estate is strategic, it is more complex.

It excites me.

It stretches me.

It fills my cup in a way I’ve always wanted.

Maybe that’s what this season is about.

Not falling apart even if it feels messy.

But expanding.

Marriage shifting.
Motherhood
Business growing.
Purpose deepening.

I am learning how to live a new version of the life I prayed for.

And sometimes that takes restlessness, tears, courage and failure. I learned a long time ago that a person needs to fail to grow, we need to accept change in order to become what we want and to reach our goals in life.

If you’re in an adjustment season too, you’re not alone.

We’re just figuring out the rhythm again.

— Kendra